I think just watched the worst episode of House Hunters I’ve ever seen. Not only was the couple the oddest pair ever (I mean the name of the episode is “Eccentrics in Ohio”), but it was also the most scripted episode I’ve ever seen.
Jack and Ana are the eccentrics, and they’re on the hunt in Cincinnati. They have recently moved back to the city after a few years away and have decided they’re done with renting.
They have very specific requirements, though, so finding the right house for them will probably send their realtor into retirement.
Wish Lists
His: He wants a Georgian-style that is move-in ready. Oh, and the address needs to have an 8 in it or add up to 8 or at the very least add up to an even number. Also, there can’t be any stairwells right in front of the main door. Because, you know, good energy escapes that way. His more realistic wants include an open concept, wood floors and a large back yard and large deck.
Hers: She prefers a colonial that can’t be any older than 50 years old because there would just be too much bad energy from a house people have lived in for that long. She also wants a quiet neighborhood and a chef’s kitchen equipped with a gas stove.
Jack and Ana hope to find the perfect house for them with their $500,000 budget. So let’s start the hunt.
House 1, $482,500
The first house is a traditional with colonial touches. It has 4 beds and 3.5 baths. The bad news is that it is 54 years old. Oh no! That’s four years too old for Ana. And unfortunately for Jack, the stairwell is a little too close to the front door. It does have the large deck, so they’re both happy with that.
The kitchen needs some work, and Jack is cringing at the thought of that, but Ana thinks it has potential. She basically thinks Jack is being picky and annoying. I’m no even sure she likes him, to be honest. Ana seems to really like the house, and I think that’s all that really matters here.
House 2, $505,000
The second house is all wrong. The house number doesn’t have an 8 in it. And it’s 147 years old. And it’s over budget. But it has been renovated and is move-in ready.
It’s immediately obvious they’re not taking this house. And it’s not because of their superstitions. It’s because it seems like they’re reading from a really bad script. Seriously, while looking at the obviously wood floors, Jack asks the realtor if those are wood floors. This whole bit is fake and staged. It’s completely laughable. There’s no way this is the house they go with. Next.
House 3, $499,000
The third house was built in the 1970s, so fewer tortured souls have called it home. Ana seems to like that, but HOLD UP. The address has no 8 in it nor does it ad up to an even number. This isn’t good. But what about the stairs? Oh no! They are right next to the front door!
And there’s more bad line reading. What is wrong with this episode? They are clerkly reading lines from a script so there’s no way this is their house either. And this is a really nice house. The kitchen is beautiful, but all Ana can do is complain about every thing. There’s no way they’re picking this house.
I’ve never seen a more obvious episode. They’re clearly picking House #1 even though it wasn’t perfect. They’re just such bad actors that it’s obvious they’re just going to pick that house and do some updates. Let’s see if I’m right …
Jack and Ana decide to go with House #1! So obvious. And they are going to put $65,000 into the house in renovations to get it just as they want. We don’t get to see the results, but they have started the work.
Be the first to comment